Saturday, September 13, 2008

people come and go...but memories stay forever

Oh man…it’s been 2 months since my last blog entry! And I asked to myself, “Was I that busy?” Apparently, the answer’s a big, solid yes! No need to say about weekdays. I go home at 7 every night, cook dinner, have dinner, iron my work clothes for the next day, feed the dogs, prepare stuff that I need to bring to work, have a brief chat with my parents etc. By the time I’ve taken my shower, it’s already near to midnight and I have barely 5 minutes to glimpse through the day’s papers before heading to bed. And if I have dance class that day, forget about even reading the papers or watching 10 minutes of TV. Weekends are no help either. On Saturdays, I go to my weekly language class which took 3 hours. And at night, either I help Mum with housework or attending functions. It’s the same with Sundays. So you see, I practically have no time to even switch my laptop on to relate my goss of daily happenings. But I’m lucky today with few hours to spare hehe…will be going to a funeral later though.

Speaking of funerals, there are a lot of passings these few months. The latest were my late uncle M (my aunt’s husband), my another uncle’s late dad, and my bf’s aunty’s late mum. It’s a sad case for late uncle M, he’s still in his forties and has yet to reach the finer stages in life. He had been suffering from a long-term illness though, so letting go is also a good thing. On the other hand, he left behind a son and daughter who are barely in their teens. I know it’s very, very hard for them to accept the fact that their daddy will not be with them anymore. And I know it’s going to be twice as hard for my aunt to be a single mother and figure out ways to support her kids on her own. I’m not particularly close to late uncle M when he was still alive, but I pretty much 100% sure that he loved his family very much. He loved to joke around and not taking his illness seriously (which is another bad thing).

Anyway, the solemn event was a bit different from other typical Kadazan funerals. Before late uncle M passed, he requested that there will be no obituary about him in the papers and no gong instruments to be played during the funeral. Plus, he requested for the song, ‘Seasons in the Sun’ by Westlife, to be sung by us during the memorial service. What was originally a happy song turned into a sad, sad one. He even modified a bit of the lyrics so there were “Goodbye my friends”, “Goodbye my siblings”, “Goodbye my wife”, “Goodbye my children” etc. We were so touched by the wordings that we were too choked up to sing along. And at the burial service, everyone was crying, even my little cousins.

It was truly a gloomy event, but it has its creepy tales too! I personally didn’t see anything, but mum told me my other uncles and aunties did. Mum said late uncle M’s spirit was ‘fierce’ ‘cos he died young. Here’s the most terrifying one: late uncle M’s was known to always ‘hitch’ rides, be it anybody. So one night when his brother-in-law was driving home alone from town after buying medicine for his sick kid, suddenly he spotted from the rearview mirror that late uncle M was sitting in the back seat! Trying hard not to show his panic, he drove on as steadily as he could. The next thing he knew, late uncle M appeared on the passenger seat! If I were the brother-in-law, I would’ve stopped the car, get out and call someone to pick me up. But he didn’t stop (and trying his best not to look beside him) until he reached the family house (where the funeral was conducted). Once he switched off the car engine, he dashed out as though lightning had just struck him. And guess what happened next? The light inside the car turned on by itself! The brother-in-law saw it and assumed that late uncle M wanted to go out from the car as well. So he cautiously opened the passenger door, switched off the light, and closed the door back. Nothing more happened after that.

Sounds eerie? Here’s another one. Usually on the 6th day after a person has passed, the ‘momisok’ ceremony is conducted whereby all lights will be turned off at the deceased’s house so that the spirit goes back, take all his/her belongings, and to never return the house again. As late uncle M was a smoker and had a thing for ‘talak’, a local home-made alcoholic drink, we prepared a whole steamed chicken, peanuts, a bottle of talak, a ciggie pack, and a lighter for the spirit to take. We huddled in a group (with mixed feelings of scared and nervousness) and turned off all lights for a good 10 minutes. In the quiet darkness, we could hear distinct sounds of things being put down and barely audible footstep sounds from upstairs (Mum said that was the neighbour’s!). Apparently, one of my cousin saw a shadow descending slowly from the staircase and one of the aunties suddenly wept out of the blue. It was a really scary experience, but I push out all feelings of fear out of my mind (and managed to drive back home alone without having an extra ‘passenger’ in the back seat!)

Whatever it is, so long you have strong willpower, you will not experience any ‘disturbances’ from the dead. Lastly, I pray for late uncle M’s peaceful soul and that he’s doing fine at the other side. To my aunt and cousins, be brave to face reality and we will always be here to support you.


mr.freddy said...

nice blog!!

V oN toP said...

thank you mr. freddy!

B' RENESSA said...

hi vi! im new wif this blogging thing... read tru ur post n im wondering whose dat guy(bro in-law)?? Uncle john Ondu ka?
Add me up k vi? hehehe