Have you experience this in your current relationship? :
(1)He thinks it’s not necessary to voice out (or sms) a simple greeting of ‘Happy Birthday’ or ‘Happy Anniversary’ to you during the special occasion as he adopts the ‘I know, and you know so we don’t need to say it’ theory. And if you demand from him on why can’t he make such a simple gesture, he’ll just shrug and said, ‘I planned to tell you later baby, it’s meant to be a surprise.’ (Oh for God’s sake. Lamest excuse I’ve ever heard) Worse, he expects YOU to say it to him first.
(2)He also thinks that ‘going out for dinner’ is the only option to celebrate your birthday, anniversary etc. He’ll cringe and moan and whine when you ask for a mini spa package as a present or anything that’s more than a 100 bucks. (Birthdays is like what…once a year??) How much did he spend on booze? More like 200 a month.
(3)He sms you the same old message everyday, it’s becoming a normal routine for both you. For example, ‘What you doing, baby?’, ‘Taken your lunch/dinner, baby?’, ‘Take your shower, darling?’, ‘Goodnight darling, love you’ etc. And you’ll reply with the same old, ‘Yup, taken lunch already. U?’. Gee, be more creative, guys :p
(4)If you complain to him that he doesn’t spend much time with you anymore, he’ll go all defensive and says, ‘C’mon baby, I’ve got a job here. I’ve got work to do. Can’t you just be more understanding?’ Okay, you can tolerate that. But when he has his free time, he ends up meeting up with his friends, playing futsal with his colleagues, playing video games with his best pals, or just plain sleeping in his bed. Where does that leave you and when do you get to see him? Oh, perhaps when you need his help in changing the light bulb which is too high for your reach, and brief pizza dinners which take place less than 5 times a month. When you were hoping for catching a romantic movie together after the quick pizza dinner, he straight away takes you home as he has to ‘complete his monthly report’.
(5)He doesn’t ‘come to your rescue’ that frequent anymore. In the beginning of the relationship, he will offer to accompany you at home even when there is a blackout no matter how busy he is. Now, he won’t even bother to offer moral support when your car breaks down late at night and you’re left alone on the streets. When you call him, he’ll say, ‘Oh honey, I’m still at my colleague’s farewell party. Call up XX, he’ll help you sort out.’ Then, he won’t even bother to check on you on whether there is someone there to help, or whether the car’s already being repaired….until the next day. And when he did ask, he doesn’t even act concerned about it.
(6)He’s becoming more ignorant about your presence, safety, and dignity. He doesn’t think it’s wrong to get himself totally pissed in front of your relatives, especially your parents, during certain occasions. He’ll puke all over the toilet floor (even in the living room), and shamelessly sleep on the sofa ‘till near midnight. Who gets the blame? You, you, you! People will start whispering, ‘Oh my, she’s dating an alcoholic. What a pity.’ Some will give you a scolding right in front of your face. What can you do? No choice but to take care of the useless being in case he’ll do something more embarrassing. You know it’s becoming worse when HIS parents give you a lecture of ‘not making much effort on taking care of him’. Excuse me, whose child is it? Who’s responsibility is it? Another scenario would be when he takes you to his relative’s wedding. He gets so pissed he can’t even drive you back home and his parents had to drive the car instead. And you? You have to find alternative ways in going back (aka cari kereta orang tumpang). AND when you confront him about it, either he’ll go all defensive again, ‘Hey baby, it’s not me. The guys made me drink. How can I refuse? They’ll hate me for that’, or he’ll go all out to ask for your forgiveness and promised not to repeat his wrongdoing again. Well, guess what? He did it again the next occasion…and the next as well.
(7)He thinks it’s perfectly unnecessary to reply your sms or calls when he’s out of credit. He even made you wait a whole day to eventually reply. He’s got a thousand options he can choose from which made you think how can senseless can he be for not even ponder on it? For starters, he can use his friend’s handphone, or the office (just a quick, ‘sorry baby, i’m out of credit) phone, or the public phone, or the house phone etc etc.
(8)He doesn’t like to do shopping with you anymore. Instead of helping you to choose out a nice blouse for work, he’d wait outside the shop chatting with his friends, and keeps on asking, ‘Found the blouse, honey?’ every 3 minutes. And he’ll keep on checking his watch, as if he has the whole world waiting for him to do something major, like creating world peace.
(9)He won’t think twice before saying something which poses as really sensitive issues for some people. For example, he’ll say directly to your face, ‘Babe, I’m not going to convert into your religion if we get married. Or else I wouldn’t want to get married at all.’ Worse, he’ll say something like this, ‘Babe, the other day my parents told me if we were to get married, you must get out of your religion first.’ What is this? Belum kahwin dah cakap banyak. That is soooo one-sided, most unfair of all unfairness. Who do they think you are? Some kind of mongrel coming from a crap background? And who do they think they are to judge you like that? You should ask his parents a question: ‘Excuse me, uncle and aunty, who’s having a relationship with me here? You or your son? Who does the decision here? You or your son?’
(10)And the WORST scenario of all these scenarios? He doesn’t think that by doing all the above, is his wrongdoing. Basically, he doesn’t think it’s his fault for all the happenings.
Well, you there, if you do experience more than 5 of the above, it’s time to stop crying all over your pillows every night and just dump him with IMMEDIATE effect. You don’t deserve him ‘cos you’re more worthy of what he thinks of you. You’ve got your dignity to uphold, baby.